Thank You WB!

The WB11 replayed the season finale so those of us with TiVo could watch Lorlei ask Luke to marry her. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you. Maybe sending angry e-mails does make a difference. Ummm . . . probably not, but I'll just pretend like my missive made a difference. Go me!

24 is freaking me out.

Seriously. I can't even breathe. I'm TiVoing, so I'm an hour behind. And I can't friggin' stand it.

The VP turned Prez is the most spineless man I've ever seen. Mia/Mandy is the coolest assasin I've ever seen. I. Can't. Stand. It.

Edited to add . . .
Kinda anti-climatic. But I still hate that VP. What an asshole.

Nick & Jessica are back.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

I didn't mean to see it, but there it was. On the TV. Nick and Jessica's latest special. They opened with R-O-C-K in the USA. They were off-key, they kinda rapped, and Jessica was trying to sing and her mouth was this gaping chasm. Why does she have to open her mouth that wide in order to sing? Would the notes not be able to reach the microphone if she her mouth were not so wide?

It was the scariest thing I ever saw. Like Audrey II come to life with overprocessed, blonde extensions.

Child Stars Are Sad

Two teen sensations are causing me great distress this week.

First is Mrs. Federline, formerly Miss Spears. Her reality show premiered this week to pretty good ratings for UPN, not great by TV standards. The ratings aren't important. What is important is that this girl is seriously screwed up. She may be a married woman about to have a baby, but she acts like she's a 14 year old. She's creating her own little world that she can control, that her family/manager/whatever aren't a part of. It's the Michael Jackson syndrome--only healthier. She's trying to recapture a piece of her childhood that was lost.

Next is Lindsey Lohan. She's was adorable in her debut movie, The Parent Trap. Since then her filmography has been a little uneven, like she's just filling time until her contracts expire. Lohan definately shows signs of talent and charisma, which is what makes a movie star even more than talent. Mean Girls and Freaky Friday were particularly good and her performances in them were as well. So, why is this girl become frighteningly skinny and partying like she's an adult? Isn't there anyone who cares enough about her to say, honey, eat something and stop drinking. It's sad that everyone around her seems more concerned with making money than for her well-being.

The moral of both of these stories is STOP TURNING KIDS INTO MINI-MONEY MAKING MACHINES.

I Hate the WB

At least in the NY tri-state area, WB ran Gilmore a minute over. My poor TiVo didn't know, since unlike ABC, the stupid WB didn't tell it. So, I missed Lorelei proposing to Luke.

Thanks WB. I've only waited for that moment for four-freakin-years. I hate you. I hate you so much right now. That flames . . . on the side of my face . . .

Hurley Sighting!

I saw Hurley from Lost walking down the street in NYC. He was holding hands with a cute, short, blonde girl. It took every ounce of restraint in my body not to run up and hug him and tell him how cute he is.

We had barely passed him when I grabbed my friends arm and screamed, "That's Hurley! Hurley's in NY! He's off the island!" And then I started jumping up and down. KC didn't know what to do with me, since she doesn't watch the show.

I'm sure he heard. I'm not one for having a really soft voice. How embarrassing, and yet soooooo exciting!

Catholicism & Me

Why do they make it so difficult for me to follow their religion? Word is the new pope is starting the canonization of Pope John Paul II. Not waiting for the three miracles or five years. They bend the rules whenever it suits them, and that's the problem.

Why can't priests marry?
Well, that's the way it's always been.

Why are women treated as second class citizens?
Well, you are paying for the signs of Eve--it's the way it's always been.

It's just so frustrating. They won't listen to those within their religion who are struggling to remain faithful, so instead they let us all stray. So now I have to decide, will I be a hypocrite or will I leave my religion? Why are life's decisions so hard?

Vera Bradley is the new Louis Vuitton

I'm sorry to say it, but it's true. The other day I was walking the streets of NYC and saw faux-Vera Bradleys being sold next to the faux Louis Vuittons. This trend has been creeping up for a while. Quilted paisley bags seem to be just too fashionable to stay the domain of old ladies, and as such, are starting to pop up on younger women.

If you've never had the pleasure of seeing a Vera Bradley, here's a link. Bleh. I would give you a photo, but XDrive doesn't like my credit cards. Damn them.

My friend actually has two Vera Bradleys and she loves them. "They're roomy and I like the patterns. So shut up FF!," my BFF has commented. I'm not swayed, as I told my former co-worker AM as we were walking down Fifth Avenue.

"AM, promise me if you ever see me with a Vera Bradley, you'll shoot me."
"Murder-suicide, baby. I'm all over that."

Thank goodness for friends with similar fashion sense.

Renny Harlin should have his DGA card revoked

Harlin rivals only George Lucas in his ability to draw out the most wooden performances from his actors. What's so frustrating is there are people in his latest movie, Mindhunters, that you know are capable of good acting. Val Kilmer, Christian Slater, Jonny Lee Miller, Eion Bailey.

So what's their excuse? Easy paycheck? Considering this was made 2 years ago Bailey might be able to use the excuse that he was just starting out. But how did Kilmer and Slater stoop so low? And with Miller's increasingly crappy body of work it's seeming like his Trainspotting performance was a fluke. Although I'll bet if he didn't keep being cast in movies that made him use that terrible American accent he employs, I might like him a whole lot better.

Mindhunters was truly a waste of time, although not as outright loathsome as, say, Kicking & Screaming. I'm sure once this flick is endlessly recycled on TV (like Harlin's camp classic Deep Blue Sea) it might have some cheesy value to it. The deaths are fairly gruesome and the dialouge is laughingly bad. In the pantheon of cheesy flicks, it's certainly no Starship Troopers nor even a Deep Blue Sea.

Veronica Mars, The Perfect Crime, & Introductions

Veronica Mars . . .
is the new Sopranos. Screw all the Buffy comparisons, which are totally inaccurate. Yes, both shows are intellgent high school dramedys, filled with witty writing, and posses charismatic lead actresses. However, VM has a much stronger supporting cast and is grounded in reality. By comparing it to Buffy, lazy TV writers have done more to alienate this gem from the public than increase its audience.

Meanwhile, VM is so much more like the Sopranos, if only for the fact that the season finale was nowhere near as fantastic as last week's episode. The episode where Veronica learns who "raped" her was so brilliant, that it might have been one of the finer hours of TV I've ever seen. The writers managed to answer some big questions, advance the plot, and include most of the major and minor characters without it feeling forced.

Of course, VM is only in its debut season, so we'll have to wait for next year to find out if they've set a pattern. I'm not complaining though. This has been one of the most enjoyable shows I've ever seen. I'm thankful we got the whole season. Unlike The O.C., its first season never missed a beat. Even if next season pales in comparison, Rob Thomas and co. should give themselves one big old pat on the back and break out the Cristal for a job well done.

The Perfect Crime
I have decided that if I could probably commit the perfect crime, thanks to all the years I've spent watching Law & Order. Last night on SVU, I learned if you use a knife with a textured handle, you can't pick fingerprints off it. I've also learned to ask for a lawyer, even if you are innocent. Never take a drink if they offer it to you, and don't throw out a tissue if you sneeze in it.

Film Fatale, where's the movie talk?
I'm sure I'll get around to it, but just for the record I am a media whore. I consume just as much music, tv, and magazines as I do film, but all variations of Media Whore were taken on blogspot.com.

I have come up with two clever aliases in my life. Media Whore and Film Fatale. I'm not that creative folks, so you'll have to deal with the misleading moniker.