Cold Stone Creamery is Brilliant

Face it people . . . they have totally suckered you in to paying $5 dollars for something you are capable of doing at home. All you have to do is instead of putting toppings on your ice cream, just get a bigger bowl and mush it inside of your ice cream. Ta Da!

It's the way children eat. Congratulations America . . . you're paying to eat like a 3 year old.

Cops are such jerks

Yes, I did a bad thing. I went the wrong way. But I was confused and there were no detour signs. And I apologized. And the cop still had to yell at me. And then when I just stopped talking he belittled me. He was like, "What are you going to do when you can't come down this street anymore permantly? You'll be really confused then."

Now, was it because I was a woman? Or just because he was a jerk? I swear, I have never met a nice, friendly cop. They're all such assholes. If I get a ticket because I broke the law, fine. I'm cool with that, especially if it's my fault. If I'm speeding or not wearing a seatbelt then it's my fault.

But cops, why do you always have to be such assholes? Ugh. I swear these men were the bullies in high school. Now they bully for a living.

It Is a Race Thing

Anyone who has been to New Orleans can tell that despite of its charm, good food, and carefree lifestyle it's a sad, sad place. There are streets that are scary to walk down, and the majority of the population lives below the poverty line.

It's sad because before all of this, NOLA was raking in the dough. Mardi Gras alone probably brought a billion dollars into the city. Then there were conventions, festivals, tourism, the shipping ports, and even more.

So it's really no surprise that the people left behind are the poorest of the poor, mostly black. And fat. Is anyone else noticing this? It's like all the fat people couldn't get out of NOLA. Very odd.

I've only been watching CNN and ABC so I can honestly say they haven't been discriminating in their coverage of the looting. In the beginning when it was about food and water, they were trying to make us understand. But when talking heads say that we're focusing too much on the looting because it's blacks doing it . . . sorry. You're wrong. It's because we can't understand why groups of armed men are raping women and now children. We can't understand why someone would break in to a house to steal jewelry or a store for a plasma tv.

Worst. President. Ever.

Dear Mr. President,

Don't let Diane Sawyer suggest ways that Americans can help people in the Gulf Coast. You tell us. Tell us to conserve gasoline. Tell us to send money to a reputible charity for helping defray the cost. Hell, tell us to pray if that's all we can do right now. But damnit man, be a leader.

And don't be stubborn with foreign aid. We've helped so many countries, why can't they help us? I'm sure they want to help, because people are moved by tragedy. We have a historic task of rebuilding ahead . . . stop being such a stubborn jackass.

Whether we like it or not, your our president. You've been our president through these terrible wars in the middle east, the attack on 9/11, and now the worst natural disaster in US History. I'm sorry, but each time your response has been underwhelming. You may be the president sir, but you are certainly no leader.