Wednesday, December 14

Katie Holmes Not Pregnant?

That's according to this site: http://conversationsfamouspeople.blogspot.com/

I don't know . . . seems a little extreme to protect a sham? Then again, I'm not famous so what do I know.

Monday, December 5

Wendy Wasserstein gravely ill

She is the pioneer of chick lit. Chick lit with a purpose. Are we too smart? Too independent? Why are women who are suppossed to have it all always end up alone? She's one of the reasons people should read more plays.

I hope you get better Wendy.

Tuesday, November 1

Why Are Deer Attacking People?

That's the most brilliant headline I've ever seen. Apparantly male deer are starting to attack people and pets.

Awww yeah. Bambi is kicking ass and taking names. Read the story on ABCNews.com.

Monday, October 31

Top Ten Hitchcock Films

Do yourself a favor and avoid embarrassing costume parties and rent some Hitchock movies. It's not gory, give you nightmares kind of scary mind you, but it's so much more sinister. Hitchcock is all about the evil that lurks beneath the surface of America.

My Completely Un-Scientific and Very Personal List of Hitch's Ten Best Films

1. Shadow of a Doubt
Great cast -- probably one of the most expertly cast movies ever made. Joseph Cotton plays the most likeable villian I've ever seen, which makes him so much more menacing. There's uncomfortable sexual tension with his niece, played by the always wonderful Teresa Wright. This pic is rumored to be Hitchcock's personal favorite.

2. Notorious
Chemistry between Grant and Bergman is off the charts. This may be Hitch's best film, despite my obvious love and preference for Shadow of Doubt.

3. Psycho
Still frigtening and disturbing after all of these years

4. Rope
The film looks like one whole shot. It's really 12 long shots, but the cuts are seemless. It's also about a pair of possibly homosexual, definately brillant students serve dinner on top of a corpse.

5. Strangers on a Train
Wonderful performances, terrific use of shadow and light

6. Marnie
Hitch goes to extremes (sometimes comically) to communicate Marnie's inner turmoil. Tippi Hendren gives a great performance in this.

7. Vertigo
If all you know of Jimmy Stewart is It's A Wonderful Life, you must see him as a violent and obessive cop in the film considered to be Hitch's masterpiece.

8. North by Northwest
So many scenes have been lifted from this movie, but it's more fun than thrilling.

9. Frenzy
Incredibly disturbing and violent, perhaps because it is less stylized than Hitch's other films. Or maybe it's because it's about a mudering rapist with a tie fetish.

10. The Birds
A classic that, like North by Northwest, has had so many scenes lifted from it.

Sunday, October 30

Just Friends

Is it wrong that I want to see this movie? I'm sure it sucks -- it stars Ryan Reynolds and Amy Smart. But it does have that cute guy from Joan of Arcadia (Joan's boyfriend, Adam) and Ryan Reynolds is totally hot. I'm sure I know how it ends (Ryan finds that even 100 lbs lighter Amy Smart still thinks of him as a brother), but who cares . . . I'm totally netflixing it.

Friday, October 28

In Living Color repeats

They are fast becoming my favorite way to end a day. BET is running the episodes at night at like 11:30. I'm not sure about the time since I TiVo everything now and have no concept of when things are actually on.

Anyway, I'm enjoying it as much now as I did when I first watched it. And it's a bonus that now so many cast members are super famous (Jim Carrey, Jamie Foxx, Jennifer Lopez). You get to see them with bad hair, big butts, or just generally making asses out of themselves. FUN!

The bad clothes, the dated jokes, the great music, the Fly girls . . . this show still rocks. And I think Keenan Ivory Wayans should be getting credit for making the Chappelle's Show possible. After all, he did Rick James long before Chappelle did.

Wednesday, September 14

Cold Stone Creamery is Brilliant

Face it people . . . they have totally suckered you in to paying $5 dollars for something you are capable of doing at home. All you have to do is instead of putting toppings on your ice cream, just get a bigger bowl and mush it inside of your ice cream. Ta Da!

It's the way children eat. Congratulations America . . . you're paying to eat like a 3 year old.

Tuesday, September 13

Cops are such jerks

Yes, I did a bad thing. I went the wrong way. But I was confused and there were no detour signs. And I apologized. And the cop still had to yell at me. And then when I just stopped talking he belittled me. He was like, "What are you going to do when you can't come down this street anymore permantly? You'll be really confused then."

Now, was it because I was a woman? Or just because he was a jerk? I swear, I have never met a nice, friendly cop. They're all such assholes. If I get a ticket because I broke the law, fine. I'm cool with that, especially if it's my fault. If I'm speeding or not wearing a seatbelt then it's my fault.

But cops, why do you always have to be such assholes? Ugh. I swear these men were the bullies in high school. Now they bully for a living.

Friday, September 2

It Is a Race Thing

Anyone who has been to New Orleans can tell that despite of its charm, good food, and carefree lifestyle it's a sad, sad place. There are streets that are scary to walk down, and the majority of the population lives below the poverty line.

It's sad because before all of this, NOLA was raking in the dough. Mardi Gras alone probably brought a billion dollars into the city. Then there were conventions, festivals, tourism, the shipping ports, and even more.

So it's really no surprise that the people left behind are the poorest of the poor, mostly black. And fat. Is anyone else noticing this? It's like all the fat people couldn't get out of NOLA. Very odd.

I've only been watching CNN and ABC so I can honestly say they haven't been discriminating in their coverage of the looting. In the beginning when it was about food and water, they were trying to make us understand. But when talking heads say that we're focusing too much on the looting because it's blacks doing it . . . sorry. You're wrong. It's because we can't understand why groups of armed men are raping women and now children. We can't understand why someone would break in to a house to steal jewelry or a store for a plasma tv.

Thursday, September 1

Worst. President. Ever.

Dear Mr. President,

Don't let Diane Sawyer suggest ways that Americans can help people in the Gulf Coast. You tell us. Tell us to conserve gasoline. Tell us to send money to a reputible charity for helping defray the cost. Hell, tell us to pray if that's all we can do right now. But damnit man, be a leader.

And don't be stubborn with foreign aid. We've helped so many countries, why can't they help us? I'm sure they want to help, because people are moved by tragedy. We have a historic task of rebuilding ahead . . . stop being such a stubborn jackass.

Whether we like it or not, your our president. You've been our president through these terrible wars in the middle east, the attack on 9/11, and now the worst natural disaster in US History. I'm sorry, but each time your response has been underwhelming. You may be the president sir, but you are certainly no leader.

Wednesday, August 31

Help Katrina Victims

I'm sure people are starting to rally around and organize, but there is a definate feeling of helplessness from those of us who live far away from the disaster -- like NY/NJ. I can't really go down there and volunteer without causing more a problem.

Right now, besides praying, the best that all of us can do is donate money to the different relief agencies. Network for Good has a pretty comprehensive list of charities from the Red Cross to Animal Rescue shelters. They also had a link to Habitat for Humanity's New Orleans chapter, which will definately have a lot of work from them once the rebuilding begins.

Give some money now, give some later. Donate blood which is always needed. Take a few less trips in your car in order to conserve gasoline.

If you really feel helpless, you could always volunteer locally to help disadvantaged people. There are people all over America who need help that would appreciate it.

LINK: http://www.networkforgood.org/topics/animal_environ/hurricanes/

Celebrating New Orleans

I'm going to spend the rest of the day listening to my CD of The Lost Bayou Boys and daydreaming of that yummy fiddle player.

Oh, and I heart Aaron Brown. He might be the most sane anchorman I've seen. When they were showing all of the footage of reporters running out into the middle of the storms to report Aaron commented, "Sometimes I wonder if we reporters should have our heads examined." Dude, I was thinking the same thing! I was terrified they were going to get hit in the head with something. Get inside damn it!

And while I'm glad Robin Roberts family is alright, how come she could get back into Gulfport when no one else could?

Tuesday, August 30

Katrina Coverage

I just can't stop watching CNN. This is so horrifying. Why aren't more people horrified by this? It just keeps getting worse.

New Orleans is one of my top 5 cities in the world, so this hurts. But that there seems to be no end to suffering that these people are experiencing is the worst part of all this. First the hurricane, then the flooding, now the looting.

Nola.com is doing a great job of covering this, or at least they did until this morning. That's when they were evacuated. So CNN is doing a great job, but if you want to know how truly devestating this is go straight to the source. Nola.com is from the people who were there and know the areas and the people affected.

Friday, July 22

NY Post thinks Sienna Miller is A-list

Link: JUDE'S NANNY NOT SO DANDY

This story is regarding the nanny that Jude Law cheated with. They ridicule her because she’s kinda chubby and not very sexy in a photo shoot she did for The Mirror. On this point they are right -- she looks a little like a deer in headlights. Anyone who has watched ANTM knows there is a reason why some people model and others don’t. I don’t really care what the post thinks of the nanny.

My real problem with this article is they call sienna miller an A-list actress. Really? A-list? Where is this list and who else is on it with her? Giselle? Tyra Banks? Jessica Simpson?

As far as I know, she’s only done Alfie and she barely had any lines in that. She might be a great actress (I hear she's been doing great on stage in London), but at this point she’s only famous for being engaged to Jude Law.

Anyway, the story made me laugh out loud. That paper is so ridiculous, and their gossip is getting worse. The Daily News ELLE story about Nina Garcia was such a great scoop and the Post has yet to mention it.

Monday, July 18

Lost love?

Can you love someone you only met once? In college, I bought this guy coffee because he was an off-campus student and it was the end of the semester and I had meal plan points left. His name was Dennis and he had the best smile I had ever seen. That wasn't why I did it, I just thought it would be nice to save someone a few bucks so close to Christmas. Anyway, someone interrupted us and we went our seperate ways.

Right before I was about to graduate I was running into the student center to meet some friends for a end of the year party celebration thing. On the way in this guy with a great smile started walking toward me like he knew me. I smiled back not knowing who the hell he was, and then he started talking to me and he mentioned that I had bought him coffee back in December. He was really freaking cute and we talked for over thirty mintues, even moving out of the sun to sit down. Then once again someone interrupted us and we went our seperate ways. I gave him my number and hung around the student center on a day he said he'd be there studying, but I never ran into him again.

But I don't even know his last name, all I know is that he had these dreamy eyes and warm smile. I'm not even sure what he looks like anymore . . . in my head I picture him like Mark Ruffalo, but who knows. So, can you fall in love in thirty minutes? I think about him time to time, with the same pang of regret from other things I didn't pursue. Like if I had just come out and said "you're cute. what's your number?" and he didn't give it, I'd be in the same situation I'm in right now. Except I wouldn't be thinking I was missing out on something.

Saturday, July 16

Johnny Depp rocks

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was really great. Tim Burton is a sick man, but I think this was his best film in years. Johnny Depp is absolutely wonderful, as usual. He just becomes the character, so much so that you forget you're watching Johnny Depp.

The daddy subplot was unncessary, but Burton will probably never give up that subtext in his films. However, it didn't detract from the film.

What I liked most about the film is that it is so different than Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, so I could enjoy this one without comparing it to Gene Wilder's film. So now we have two great film versions of the children book, the more recent one being much darker, scarier, and (naturally) bizarre. Well done guys!

Friday, July 15

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Is it just me, or does it seem like Johnny Depp is impersonating Michael Jackson in the trailer for this movie? The hair, the makeup, the voice. See for yourself.

Whatever, I adore him. I've loved him ever since Cry-Baby, because after Jump Street he could have gottten rich off of prety boy movie roles, but he never did that. He always played those quirky, eccentric characters. I love that America embraced him for doing what he always did -- his performance in Pirates was as outrageous, daring, and original as his previous work.

So, I'll go see it for him, since Tim Burton has let me down so many times before. Also, I saw Depp say in an interview he wanted to stay as far away from the Gene Wilder character since he loves that film. awww. i heart johnny.

Oh, and I am totally going to see the Corpse Bride (trailer) when that comes out. It looks just as cool as Nightmare Before Christmas, which I still can't decide to watch if I should watch at Halloween or at Christmas. Either way, I feel like it's the wrong time of year. I should probably just watch it in November or July just to avoid the pressure of the decision.

Online dating is scary

It's like the most bizarre people submit their profiles. Are there that many crazy people in the world? Or is it just that only crazy people are responding to my online profiles. You know, I don't like dating in real life, so I'm not sure why I thought online dating would be any different. Makes me almost wish in arranged marriages.

Sunday, July 10

Family is exhausting

It's like pulling teeth getting my cousins to talk. Why do I have to spend a beautiful Sunday with these people? We have nothing in common except for the fact that our parents are related. And they look bored to tears the whole time they were here. Thank god we're down to two visits a year.

Tuesday, July 5

I'm a Liar

I'm not a total media whore. I hate magazines. It's probably because I work in the industry. But truly magazines suck. They can never print the truth because we live in a sue-happy world (whether the subject matter is celebrities or gardening) so they are ridiculously fawning. Also, if they ever said anything bad about anyone or anything advertisers would pull their money, which means no more magazine.

So, we have a bullshit industry that is based in fantasy but insists on instructing men and women on how to lives their lives. The actual production of the magazines ruins the environment, and everyone in edit is crazy.

So, I'm a liar. Not that other forms of media are any better or any worse . . . they are at least more entertaining.

Sunday, June 19

Batman Begins

Wow. I've always been a Batman fan. From Adam West's campy show to the movies, well at least until Joel came along and ruined the franchise. I've also been in love with Christian Bale since I saw Newsies. So, I was going to see this movie no matter what.

So that's why it feels so good to know that everyone involved did such a great job. The film is dark and delicious, and not remotely campy. Bale's Batman borders on psychotic, but when you think about, Bruce Wayne always had to be a little crazy. I think most of them have to go through a lot of therapy, but they will somehow find a way to go on with their lives. How many of them really become crusaders?

And I know Katie has gotten a lot of shit for her performance, but it's a nothing role. It takes a truly extraordinary actress to turn nothing into something. She's not extraordinary, but I think she's good for this role. She's young and pretty and I believed her as an idealist who won't comprise her ideals for a hunky billionaire. She has that slightly crazy look in her eyes, so it makes total sense. I would comprise everything for a hunky billionaire, but I've always been very corruptible.

Thursday, June 16

Hit Me Baby is boring me

This show is infuriating because I can't vote. And the L.A. audiences seem to pick the song they like the most, and not the best performance. Now, Arrested Development and Vanilla Ice did well, and probably deserved to win each week, but Irene Cara was terrible.

Unlike, say American Idol, you have to just accept what the audience says. I have no say on who wins, and therefore I don't care.

Meanwhile, why don't these reality shows make it easy on all of us. Just like Survivor, let us vote off who we like the least, instead of keeping who we like the most. It splits the vote.

Friday, June 3

Freedom

Yesterday was the last day of my job. I start a new one in a week, so it's not like there is the out-of-work anxiety. Instead, I just feel like this giant weight has been lifted from my shoulders. And I just keep playing the following three songs over again.

I'm Free - The Who
Freedom - Richie Havens
Me & Bobby McGee - Janis Joplin

Infinity has driven me into the arms of satellite radio

I. AM. SO. ANGRY.

I was just out driving and I went to listen to WCBS-FM which is this great oldies station in NYC. So I was a little surprised when I heard the Beastie Boys. I mean I know they've been adding more recent stuff to their mix to lower the demographic, but this was ridiculous.

But it's not WCBS-FM. Now it's the new Jack FM. Which might be ok if they were playing new jack swing, cause what the world needs now is Bel Biv Devoe and old-school Bobby Brown. But noooooooo . . . it's another crappy mix station with No Doubt, U2, and all that crap. Now WCBS is only on the internet.

Well thanks Infinity. Now you've made it real easy for me to cough up the money for satellite radio. Oh, and this summer I'm listening to 101.5 by the pool.

Thursday, June 2

Hit Me Baby One More Time

This show was just brilliant. I loved how all the men got fat, all the women got skinny, and Speech STILL has that thing on his chin.

This show would be a hundred times better if NBC did the following:

1.) Had the audience at home vote each week.
2.) Let each week's winner advance to a semi-final round and then compete again with each other a la American Idol.
3.) The ultimate winner gets to either release their remake as a single or gets a new recording contract.

Having said that, I'm totally tuning in again next week because Vanilla Ice is doing as his cover, Survivor by Destiny's Child. Come on people! Who else is counting the days until this is on?

Wednesday, June 1

Dancing with the Stars

The judges need to explain their scoring more. I don't understand because I know nothing about ballroom dancing. However, when Kelly Monoco almost fell, was that her fault for losing her balance or her partner's fault for not supporting her? Come on judges, give me something to go on.

Oh, and I totally need subtitles for whenever the third judge talks. I've got no idea what he's saying.

Overall, I was a bored about half-way through. The only reason I might tune back in is the promise of more Joey Joe in tight black pants. They say you never get over your first love, and god knows I've loved that boy since I was twelve.

Tuesday, May 31

Thank You WB!

The WB11 replayed the season finale so those of us with TiVo could watch Lorlei ask Luke to marry her. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you. Maybe sending angry e-mails does make a difference. Ummm . . . probably not, but I'll just pretend like my missive made a difference. Go me!

Monday, May 23

24 is freaking me out.

Seriously. I can't even breathe. I'm TiVoing, so I'm an hour behind. And I can't friggin' stand it.

The VP turned Prez is the most spineless man I've ever seen. Mia/Mandy is the coolest assasin I've ever seen. I. Can't. Stand. It.

Edited to add . . .
Kinda anti-climatic. But I still hate that VP. What an asshole.

Nick & Jessica are back.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

I didn't mean to see it, but there it was. On the TV. Nick and Jessica's latest special. They opened with R-O-C-K in the USA. They were off-key, they kinda rapped, and Jessica was trying to sing and her mouth was this gaping chasm. Why does she have to open her mouth that wide in order to sing? Would the notes not be able to reach the microphone if she her mouth were not so wide?

It was the scariest thing I ever saw. Like Audrey II come to life with overprocessed, blonde extensions.

Saturday, May 21

Child Stars Are Sad

Two teen sensations are causing me great distress this week.

First is Mrs. Federline, formerly Miss Spears. Her reality show premiered this week to pretty good ratings for UPN, not great by TV standards. The ratings aren't important. What is important is that this girl is seriously screwed up. She may be a married woman about to have a baby, but she acts like she's a 14 year old. She's creating her own little world that she can control, that her family/manager/whatever aren't a part of. It's the Michael Jackson syndrome--only healthier. She's trying to recapture a piece of her childhood that was lost.

Next is Lindsey Lohan. She's was adorable in her debut movie, The Parent Trap. Since then her filmography has been a little uneven, like she's just filling time until her contracts expire. Lohan definately shows signs of talent and charisma, which is what makes a movie star even more than talent. Mean Girls and Freaky Friday were particularly good and her performances in them were as well. So, why is this girl become frighteningly skinny and partying like she's an adult? Isn't there anyone who cares enough about her to say, honey, eat something and stop drinking. It's sad that everyone around her seems more concerned with making money than for her well-being.

The moral of both of these stories is STOP TURNING KIDS INTO MINI-MONEY MAKING MACHINES.

Tuesday, May 17

I Hate the WB

At least in the NY tri-state area, WB ran Gilmore a minute over. My poor TiVo didn't know, since unlike ABC, the stupid WB didn't tell it. So, I missed Lorelei proposing to Luke.

Thanks WB. I've only waited for that moment for four-freakin-years. I hate you. I hate you so much right now. That flames . . . on the side of my face . . .

Monday, May 16

Hurley Sighting!

I saw Hurley from Lost walking down the street in NYC. He was holding hands with a cute, short, blonde girl. It took every ounce of restraint in my body not to run up and hug him and tell him how cute he is.

We had barely passed him when I grabbed my friends arm and screamed, "That's Hurley! Hurley's in NY! He's off the island!" And then I started jumping up and down. KC didn't know what to do with me, since she doesn't watch the show.

I'm sure he heard. I'm not one for having a really soft voice. How embarrassing, and yet soooooo exciting!

Catholicism & Me

Why do they make it so difficult for me to follow their religion? Word is the new pope is starting the canonization of Pope John Paul II. Not waiting for the three miracles or five years. They bend the rules whenever it suits them, and that's the problem.

Why can't priests marry?
Well, that's the way it's always been.

Why are women treated as second class citizens?
Well, you are paying for the signs of Eve--it's the way it's always been.

It's just so frustrating. They won't listen to those within their religion who are struggling to remain faithful, so instead they let us all stray. So now I have to decide, will I be a hypocrite or will I leave my religion? Why are life's decisions so hard?

Friday, May 13

Vera Bradley is the new Louis Vuitton

I'm sorry to say it, but it's true. The other day I was walking the streets of NYC and saw faux-Vera Bradleys being sold next to the faux Louis Vuittons. This trend has been creeping up for a while. Quilted paisley bags seem to be just too fashionable to stay the domain of old ladies, and as such, are starting to pop up on younger women.

If you've never had the pleasure of seeing a Vera Bradley, here's a link. Bleh. I would give you a photo, but XDrive doesn't like my credit cards. Damn them.

My friend actually has two Vera Bradleys and she loves them. "They're roomy and I like the patterns. So shut up FF!," my BFF has commented. I'm not swayed, as I told my former co-worker AM as we were walking down Fifth Avenue.

"AM, promise me if you ever see me with a Vera Bradley, you'll shoot me."
"Murder-suicide, baby. I'm all over that."

Thank goodness for friends with similar fashion sense.

Thursday, May 12

Renny Harlin should have his DGA card revoked

Harlin rivals only George Lucas in his ability to draw out the most wooden performances from his actors. What's so frustrating is there are people in his latest movie, Mindhunters, that you know are capable of good acting. Val Kilmer, Christian Slater, Jonny Lee Miller, Eion Bailey.

So what's their excuse? Easy paycheck? Considering this was made 2 years ago Bailey might be able to use the excuse that he was just starting out. But how did Kilmer and Slater stoop so low? And with Miller's increasingly crappy body of work it's seeming like his Trainspotting performance was a fluke. Although I'll bet if he didn't keep being cast in movies that made him use that terrible American accent he employs, I might like him a whole lot better.

Mindhunters was truly a waste of time, although not as outright loathsome as, say, Kicking & Screaming. I'm sure once this flick is endlessly recycled on TV (like Harlin's camp classic Deep Blue Sea) it might have some cheesy value to it. The deaths are fairly gruesome and the dialouge is laughingly bad. In the pantheon of cheesy flicks, it's certainly no Starship Troopers nor even a Deep Blue Sea.

Wednesday, May 11

Veronica Mars, The Perfect Crime, & Introductions

Veronica Mars . . .
is the new Sopranos. Screw all the Buffy comparisons, which are totally inaccurate. Yes, both shows are intellgent high school dramedys, filled with witty writing, and posses charismatic lead actresses. However, VM has a much stronger supporting cast and is grounded in reality. By comparing it to Buffy, lazy TV writers have done more to alienate this gem from the public than increase its audience.

Meanwhile, VM is so much more like the Sopranos, if only for the fact that the season finale was nowhere near as fantastic as last week's episode. The episode where Veronica learns who "raped" her was so brilliant, that it might have been one of the finer hours of TV I've ever seen. The writers managed to answer some big questions, advance the plot, and include most of the major and minor characters without it feeling forced.

Of course, VM is only in its debut season, so we'll have to wait for next year to find out if they've set a pattern. I'm not complaining though. This has been one of the most enjoyable shows I've ever seen. I'm thankful we got the whole season. Unlike The O.C., its first season never missed a beat. Even if next season pales in comparison, Rob Thomas and co. should give themselves one big old pat on the back and break out the Cristal for a job well done.

The Perfect Crime
I have decided that if I could probably commit the perfect crime, thanks to all the years I've spent watching Law & Order. Last night on SVU, I learned if you use a knife with a textured handle, you can't pick fingerprints off it. I've also learned to ask for a lawyer, even if you are innocent. Never take a drink if they offer it to you, and don't throw out a tissue if you sneeze in it.

Film Fatale, where's the movie talk?
I'm sure I'll get around to it, but just for the record I am a media whore. I consume just as much music, tv, and magazines as I do film, but all variations of Media Whore were taken on blogspot.com.

I have come up with two clever aliases in my life. Media Whore and Film Fatale. I'm not that creative folks, so you'll have to deal with the misleading moniker.